Try to find some meetings more to your liking. Let demographics guide your search; educated, higher-income people are more likely to be at least freethinkers so go to meetings in wealthier areas or around colleges. Call the central group in your area for help. There are AA atheist meetings around, at one time Seattle had five. Washington DC has one.

Get to know people, you are sure to find kindred spirits. If you can’t find a meeting that meets your specifications, start one. Try to find a sponsor who shares your beliefs.

It is a valid point that not all areas will have existing support groups with meetings to physically attend (other than the ubiquitous AA). And if AA is all you got, it may be better than nothing. But I strongly encourage anyone dealing with these issues to do their own research on alternatives to and criticisms of AA.

As far as taking what I want, leaving the rest – sorting out the god stuff, as you put it. I found that, in my experiences, there was precious little discussion, advice, or support that wasn’t hedged with the assumption that god, or whatever you call your HP, was deeply involved. Once you sort out the god stuff, there’s not much of anything left to “take what you want” from.

I’m glad AA has helped people. I may even admit it helped me a bit. But it is an institution firmly intertwined with Christianity, and athiests, with rare exception, will reject the vast majority of AA philosophy.

Also, I’ve found that the reaction of the group is more a matter of one’s own perception than reality. Remember when you went to your first party sober and realized that nobody gave a damn whether you were drinking alcohol or not? It’s the same deal in AA with regards to belief in a deity. And isn’t it interesting that your fellow group member didn’t want YOU to feel uncomfortable, so took the trouble to write a chant for you. I suspect it was because you acted put out and bothered by the chant at the end rather than anyone in the group caring one way or the other that you did or did not participate.

As far as recommending AA and there being alternatives out there, there just aren’t that many, especially if you’re not located in an urban center. When someone is dying of alcoholism, does it really matter if the group is god-centered or doorknob-centered, or does it matter more that by participating for however long it takes, you can stop drinking and save your life. The desperate don’t have time to sort out the various options — they need help right away (oh, dear, I hate brown, so I won’t get in THAT lifeboat — is there a red one available???) If you’re dying, who cares what anyone else things as long as you can get the help you need? I decided I could sort the god stuff out later — and found that I didn’t even need to.

There are many support groups, and much information on addiction strategy for freethinkers. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend AA to anyone who isn’t already a pretty devout xian.

How do I know this? I’ve been an AA member for 12 years, never for a second believed in an hp (whether a god, the group, or the doorknob), no slips, no problems. You can’t be thrown out of AA by anybody for any reason.

What exactly is an “abstract concept of a higher power”? What is the purpose of subscribing to it? I mean, it is patently obvious to everyone that there are entities in the universe of substantially greater power than us puny humans. If the sun went nova, it would wipe us out easy, nothing we could do about it, and there are many stars much bigger than the sun. Certainly, sun worship is not the concept that AA is after.

So what “concept” would the atheist “subscribe” to, other than one that implies some order and plan to the universe? And how can one possibly include the word “benevolent” without importing human characteristics? Isn’t this precisely what we atheists reject, barring proof? Subscribing to a concept of a higher power is thus a matter of faith, which is generally what distinguishes believers from atheists. If the question posed by Emily correctly defines the policy at AA (“sense of a benevolent universe”) then no atheist can subscribe to this and still be an atheist.